Incompetent "Karen The CFO" Uses Calculator That Doesn't Follow Order Of Operations, Gets Fired By CEO

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mattstaff
Mar 29, 2020 9:00 PM EDT

Karen the CFO put all the trust in that handy dandy, malfunctioning calculator. Turns out Karen would've been much better served if she'd listened to other people's opinions, and not assumed that a calculator that couldn't even factor in the proper order of operations, was correct. No, Karen. That is not how it works. 

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  • 01
    Text - CFO can't do math (warning: includes math) A few years ago I worked for a tech company that was only just keeping its head above water. Most of the staff genuinely believed in the product line and did their best but nothing was ever a standout success. Many ideas were put up to management but often knocked back by the CFO (who we will call Karen) said it would be too expensive or wouldn't get a good return on investment, and many ideas we knew would never work somehow got approved but nev
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  • 02
    Text - My team was working on a product enhancement we were absolutely convinced would be successful. We had a realistic budget. We had customer feedback showing this was needed and wanted, and firm offers to purchase if it was available. We were convinced our numbers were watertight and put them up to management.
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  • 03
    Text - Next product meeting the following week and Karen shoots down every argument we put. Despite the customer feedback, she claims our numbers are wrong and it will lose money. We simply can't understand this as we had been over them many times. We start going through the figures step by step and she keeps telling us we're wrong.
    via u/Pseudonym1234567890
  • 04
    Text - Out of frustration my manager goes to the whiteboard (yeah, we still have one) and walks everybody through the figures step by step. Almost everybody is doing the math themselves on their tablets/phones or on good old fashioned paper and nodding in agreement. Except Karen, who is using a credit card sized calculator that came with her expensive leather binder and keeps saying we are wrong. My manager suddenly works out what might be happening and asks to have a look at Karen's calculator.
    via u/Pseudonym1234567890
  • 05
    Text - Order of operations is a fundamental set of rules about which calculations to perform first in a mathematical expression. For example 2 + 3 * 4 is read as 2 + (3 * 4), meaning you always do multiplication and division before addition and subtraction. So 2 + 3 * 4 = 14. What Karen's cheap calculator was doing was all operations in the order they were entered and reading 2 + 3 * 4 as (2 + 3) * 4 = 20. %3D So a room full of people with degrees in computer science, engineering and finance all
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  • 06
    Text - The Revenge At the end of each month, each team has to submit expenses reports. We are normally quite good at forecasting expenses and any variation is usually something we need to buy at short notice. These are submitted to Karen for approval who then authorizes adjustments in our budgets.
    via u/Pseudonym1234567890
  • 07
    Text - Two engineers who are mathematical geniuses spent most of their coffee and lunch breaks for nearly a whole month madly scribbling down complex calculations. They suggest some very small variations to planned purchases. Bring a few items forward by a month, push a few items back a month, use a couple of different suppliers for multiples of the same items. Nothing unusual about this as we have a range of ways to buy things at short notice from various suppliers. The whole thing is cost neut
    via u/Pseudonym1234567890
  • 08
    Text - Then they prepare the expense report for the manager to submit Karen who demands an explanation. The manager gleefully submits an itemized list of expenses for the month and the next month, and invites Karen to check the figures herself. "Use your calculator," he says. The variation in expenses is very small when calculated properly, but comes out to millions of dollars if done the way Karen's shitty calculator does it. As I said these engineers are mathematical geniuses.
    via u/Pseudonym1234567890
  • 09
    Text - Karen isn't impressed by this and takes it to the CEO. She launches into a tirade about the engineers "forging" expense reports to "embezzle millions from the company". She basically accuses the entire team of fraud. The CEO says he will look into it and comes to see my manager. (This in itself is very unusual as the CEO very rarely leaves his office for things like this. If there are any problems you are usually summoned to see the CEO. The CEO isn't a bad guy, just really busy most of t
    via u/Pseudonym1234567890
  • 10
    Text - We're watching the manager through the glass partition go through a lengthy explanation with the CEO, pointing out figures on the screen and writing on bits of paper. The CEO sits there in silence for a minute taking it all in, then suddenly bursts out laughing to the point of tears rolling down his cheeks. Then suddenly he's not laughing. He goes back to his office and within a few hours there are a couple of auditors going through some of Karen's financial reports. There are glaring err
    via u/Pseudonym1234567890
  • 11
    Text - Karen is summoned to the CEO's office. We don't know exactly what is being said but we can hear the CEO shouting. He never shouts. The result is Karen gets fired, despite STILL maintaining she is right and everybody else is wrong. She has just 1 hour to pack up her desk and leave. She is finally escorted out of the building. When she gets to her car there is a piece of paper taped to the windshield. It is a picture of Stephen Hawking with the words "YOU MUST BE AT LEAST THIS SMART TO INVE
    via u/Pseudonym1234567890

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